Testing-Testing, can you hear me?

It's 3 days til Christmas and last weekend we heard that Bowen Construction did not get a construction job that we thought we had, and Jim my son in law found out he has a mass in his stomach that the doctor's say they are "concerned". I don't know if the doctor is concerned but when I hear "mass", I'm concerned! My sister's cancer is back and my sweet daughter in law had to go to a funeral of her step-grandmother!  Cara asked me when I thought we would stop being attacked and I told her I don't know about an attack but I do believe God is allowing our faith to be tested! We are getting ready for a retreat in January and we are concentrating on how great is our God! We are going to praise and worship Him for who He is and I guess I needed a pop quiz!Of course, I'm praying for healing for all my family but mostly my prayer has been for God to hold on to me and that I'm to love Him above all else! I told Him yesterday during worship at church  that He has control of my life and if this is the journey we are to travel give me faith to do so! I still believe God is a loving God and He will not allow anything to happen to me that will not come out of love.I really want Jim to be okay, I really want Janice to be healed and I really want to love God with all my heart above any of my "wants"!  That's my wants here's what I know!!!!God is loving, He knows what's best for me and my family and He will do what He chooses for my best! God died for me and He purchased me which makes Him my Adonai (Master). Now, I can say I don't understand how He does the things He does but I do know the why. I've heard so many people say don't ask why but how and I have actually said that same thing but as I grow in the Lord, I think the why has already been told and that answer is that He does all things for HIs Glory and for my best! No, not all things are good but they sure seem to work for my good! The "why' is because God is God and He knows what I do not know and may never know but I know Him and I know that He did not have to come to this earth as a human and He did not have to go to the cross for my sins but He did! If a God would do so much to have a relationship with me,' why' is not something I need to worry about. I hope that one day as I'm sitting around His throne we can discuss the details He orchestrated to bring Glory to Him through my life.So, the economy is not so good in construction, the health issues are piling up but in light of knowing God that's nothing! I keep thinking of the Christmas story when the angel said to the shepherds "Fear not,  a child has been born in the town of David and He is Christ the Lord! He came to earth that's amazing but He died and that's amazing grace! He is Adonai (My master).I will not fear!